My Bright Idea for the Day

Mandatory life sentences without parole for spammers.

Who's with me?

Funny Ad

There's a banner ad on Yahoo right now which promises:

We deliver compatible singles to you.

You mean, right to my door?

Your Quiz for the Day

Which is larger?

1. The continental U.S. or Australia?
2. Austria or Maine?
3. Burkina Faso or Colorado?
4. Cameroon or California?
5. Germany or Montana?
6. Greece or Alabama?
7. Iran or Alaska?
8. Ireland or West Virginia?
9. Japan or California?
10. Niger or Texas?
11. The Pacific Ocean, or the entire land area of the world?
12. Pakistan or California?
13. Turkey or Texas?
14. The United Kingdom or Oregon?
15. Zimbabwe or Montana?







Answers:
1. The Continental U.S.
2. Maine
3. Burkina Faso (It's a country in Western Africa.)
4. Cameroon
5. Montana
6. Alabama
7. Iran
8. Ireland
9. California
10. Niger (It's almost twice the size of Texas.)
11. The Pacific Ocean
12. Pakistan (It's almost twice the size of California.)
13. Turkey
14. Oregon
15. Zimbabwe

Still Seems Weird

I may have to face the fact that I will probably never get used to this.

In a news story on the radio I just heard the following four words, and I still just can't wrap my head around this idea:

"California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger"

Bo Knows Tecmo

Remember the video game Tecmo Bowl?

Remember Bo Jackson?

Here's a hilarious example of a typical Bo touchdown on Tecmo Bowl.

I wish they still made 'em like this.

My Pitch for a TV Show

Combined reality/game show. Contestants submit 30-second videos of themselves doing the most ridiculous and absurdly embarrassing things they can think of. This segment takes the first 10 minutes of the show.

With all contestants in the studio, the audience votes on the top 3 videos.

After the vote, the top 3 contestants compete live for the big prize by performing stunts devised by the show's writers.

The show's title: Humiliate Yourself for Money.

This Was My High School Debate Case...

in 1987:

U.S. Department of Agriculture Management of Civil Rights Efforts Continues to Be Deficient Despite Years of Attention

In other words, black farmers have historically had a harder time getting loans than white farmers.

We got to run that case only one time, but we killed with it. The other team hadn't even heard of it. They had no evidence on it, so they were left with nothing to say. Nobody at the tournament was prepared for it.

But after running it just that one time, we had a string of rounds where we were on the negative. So the case had a brief, bright life, and that was it.

Those were good times.

Microsoft ... And Yahoo

This is.

This.

This.

Funny.

Why not.

Yes, I think you ... we ... yes ... no.

The blogger does not move.

If You Are As Sick and Tired of This Election As I Am...

Can I get a "Hell Yeah!"

Saw This Movie Last Night

The Rookie.

I know - it's years and years old. But India and watched it and we both liked it.

Insert Homer Simpson Joke Here

It just writes itself:

Guards at a Florida nuclear power plant were found sleeping repeatedly between 2004 and 2006, according to a U.S. Nuclear Regulatory Commission proposal to fine Florida Power and Light Co. The incident mirrored recent reports of sleeping guards at a nuclear power site in Pennsylvania.

“Security officers at [the] Turkey Point [power plant] were willfully inattentive to duty or served as lookouts so other officers could sleep on duty,” said an NRC statement.

The commission also issued a $208,000 fine in January after learning that plant security guards had removed the firing pins from their weapons as part of a labor dispute with security contractor Wackenhut.

An Amazing Aeroplane!

I want an Aerosonde!

This summer, a fleet of small unmanned aircraft, similar to radio-controlled models sold by hobby stores, is to be launched into the heart of hurricanes to beam back information that may sharpen the accuracy of tropical forecasts, scientists say.

The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration plans to launch the 30-pound drones, called Aerosondes, from Jamaica or Barbados during the 2008 hurricane season into storms that pose an initial threat to the Caribbean.

Manufactured by Aerosonde, based in Melbourne, Australia, the propeller-driven weather probes, which cost more than $50,000 each, are engineering marvels.

Equipped with a 1.6-horsepower engine and flight management computer, the drone can fly an astonishing 2,300 miles on 1.5 gallons of fuel at a cruising speed of about 60 mph.

With such stamina, the drones can be directed into a hurricane and drift in its swirling winds for more than 20 hours. After enduring the turbulence, they are rugged enough to return to their home base intact.

The Aerosondes are part of a broader NOAA program to use unmanned aircraft to monitor global events, such as arctic ice melting, volcanic lava flows and changes in fish and whale populations. NOAA recently invested an additional $3 million in its overall unmanned aircraft program.

Aerosondes already have flown more than 1,000 hours in the Arctic yet are so flexible that they also can fly in baking Sahara heat, said Daniel Fowler, a drone operator with the Aerosonde firm.

He said the plane is constructed with tough polymers, such as those used in bulletproof vests, and other advanced materials.

30 pounds: That's about what a two-year-old weighs.

1.6 HP engine: That's less than half the horsepower of my cheap lawnmower.

2300 miles: That's about the distance from Bloomington to Vancouver, BC.

1.5 gallons of gas: That's better than 1,500 miles per gallon.

Wow. That's about all I can say. Wow.

"My Significant Ex"

I liked the story about this guy who won a $136 million lottery jackpot. My favorite part was how well he seems to get along with his ex-wife. He calls her "my significant ex":

"I called my sister; she didn't believe me. I called my daughter; she thought I was nuts," said [David] Sneath, who said he made his first call to his ex-wife, Deborah.

Deborah, whom he called "my significant ex," attended the Thursday news conference where Sneath was presented with a large replica of a $136 million check. His daughter was there with her daughter, as was his son...

Seems like a good guy - all best to him.

I Got Nothing

I've been pen-spinning for 20+ years, but compared to these kids I got nothing.

Nothing. At. All.

Happy Birthday to "Happy Birthday"

It's the birthday of the woman who co-wrote "Happy Birthday to You," Patty Smith Hill, born in Anchorage, Kentucky (1868).

Fun With Phone Books

True or False: If you interweave the pages of two phone books, it is impossible to pull them apart.

Answer here

Not News

Guys suck at picking up hints from women:

More often than not, guys interpret even friendly cues, such as a subtle smile from a gal, as a sexual come-on, and a new study discovers why: Guys are clueless.

More precisely, they are somewhat oblivious to the emotional subtleties of non-verbal cues, according to a new study of college students.

"Young men just find it difficult to tell the difference between women who are being friendly and women who are interested in something more," said lead researcher Coreen Farris of Indiana University's Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences.

But the study, to be detailed in the April issue of the journal Psychological Science, also found that it goes both ways for guys - they mistake females' sexual signals as friendly ones. The researchers suggest guys have trouble noticing and interpreting the subtleties of non-verbal cues, in either direction.

One common explanation for reports of men taking a friendly gesture as "she wants me," is based on men's inherent interest in sex. However, Farris and her colleagues didn't find this to be the case. Rather than seeing the world through sex-colored glasses, men seemed just to have blurry vision of sorts, overall. For instance, the college guys sometimes mistook sexual advances as pal-like gestures.

Yep, that was me. When I was single, I was absolutely the worst at this.

The. Worst.

I wonder if a guy could actually improve on this, or if they're just doomed?

Move Here Today!

Here's a place where Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged would feel right at home:

The mayor of the French village of Sarpourenx has passed an edict forbidding the 260 residents of his small hamlet from passing on within city limits.

Mayor Gerard Lalanne complains his town has run out of room at the local cemetery, so he's passed an ordinance that states "all persons not having a plot in the cemetery and wishing to be buried in Sarpourenx are forbidden from dying in the parish."

What happens if you do? The law promises to severely punish the offenders, which would literally have to be a fate worse than death.

Apparently the undertaker's lobby is very weak in Sarpournenx.

Myspace Sucks

I've got a myspace page which I don't visit very often. Lately, though, I've been trying to keep up with it a bit.

But almost every time I log on to myspace, I get an error message because the pages time out before they finish loading. These are not fat pages - I'm just trying to read comments, friends' blog entries, etc. And this is on a broadband connection.

Myspace sucks.

Is Mushroom Soup Soup?

So I'm enjoying my lunch today - a yummy bowl of cream of mushroom soup. And I'm wondering:

Does anybody else besides me actually eat cream of mushroom soup, as soup? Every other time I've seen it served, it has been and ingredient in a casserole.

Mom always used to serve it as soup, so it seems perfectly natural to me.

But maybe I'm the only one.